How do you define success?

The current definition in our culture is pretty narrow and possibly not based in YOUR values.

Good news, you can redefine success to fit your values and where you want to go in business and in life.

Today I’m offering up some questions and prompts for reflection, sharing my redefinition process and offering up a loose guide to support you to do the same.

Let’s dive in.

Links, mentions & resources

• Ep 10 What is a values Based Business

• Workshop - Values Based Business planning, goals & pricing

Episode Transcript

Laura Jean

Hello Hello and welcome to episode 11 of the dietitian valuess Podcast. Today I'm talking to you, or asking you, How do you define success? Before we jump in, though I just want to remind you that coming up on the 19th of July, Australian time, and Australian date in the 18th of July, in the US is my values based business workshop, covering planning goals and pricing. This is a 90 minute practical based workshop to really give you a head start on embedding values your values in your business, and creating space to plan, set goals and set your pricing from a values based perspective, your values, most importantly because it's your business. And if you want to kind of get a bit of a rundown on what a values based business is episode 10 I talked a little bit about that. So if you're interested in the workshop that's coming up, it's a standalone workshop, you're going to walk away with practical stuff, not just fluff. And if you want check out the link in the show notes, or head to @dietitianvalues on Instagram and go to the link in my bio. And now on to the episode.

So, how do you define success. What is your measure of success that you are striving for or aiming for in your business.The truth is that our individualistic capitalist supremacy based culture has a very narrow definition of success, and it creates a very narrow definition of success that it hoardds for a very few people and really within our current culture success is not accessible, the definition of success is not accessible to everyone. It's based in money, it's based in power, and it's based in influence. And if you're anything like me, and many of the values based dietitians that I work with the thought of basing your success around those three measures and those three measures only feels a little bit cringy. Now, I don't mean that making money that that and having power and having influence is actually anything wrong with that but as it stands in our current culture it's very extractive it's very extraction based, it's very power over versus say power with or power for or power, you know, in community with. And it's really based in that hoarding so you know like keeping power, influence money, you know, for the person who's successful versus potentially, you know, distributing that power, that money and that influence and using it for, to make a difference. So, the real key I want to emphasise is that we don't have to play that game. We do not have to buy into that version of success, and you can create your own version your own definition of success that works for you, success it's not a one size fits all, as much as the current narrative would have us believe that it's this particular narrow range of things, and success you know you're not successful, if you don't like tick these criteria if you don't have X Y, Z. That's pretty much bullshit. I'm calling bullshit. you can make money and make a difference you can create and define your own version of success, and that is what I would like to invite you to do. So what are some things you can think about when it comes to success or how could you redefine success for you.

So I feel like there's a few steps that you can go about this, I'd like to offer these steps, it's not a one, again, this isn't like an exhaustive way you can come at this from your own angle, but it's really just firstly questioning like currently what what definition you have for success and where does that come from, like, whose standard whose values come through in those versions of success, and have a look at your values, and look where are they in your current version of success that you're striving for or that you have in your head, like, sit down, grab a pen now if you want pause the podcast, and write down. How would I know if I was successfu? l what measures of success am I aiming for striving for currently? jot it down don't edit it don't filter it just blurt it all out. And then with the information with the answer then compare it to your values and look for whose values are coming through. Are they your values or are they current culture, social, you know, our values of our current system that has been kind of super imposed upon your measures of success, your goals. Because the version of success. If you are striving for somebody else's version of success if you're trying to get somewhere where you don't really want to go. Then, you aren't going to feel successful and you aren't going to be successful for you when you get there, and it's kind of similar to how the wellness in the health thing, you know the wellness industry has this one version one size fits all the idea of what health is you know they try to sell this idea, this is what health looks like. And as a non diet dietician or somebody else listening along, I know that you know that's not the case. Everyone is everyone's version, everyone's definition of health is defined by them, and people can have their own definition, you know, it looks different, like not everyone can actually access the same level of health, it's just not possible. And it's the similar thing with success, but also most importantly when it comes to success and this is a bit of a difference is that not everyone has to want that same level might actually that's true for health too. You don't have to want a certain level of success, to be successful, you don't have to want to strive towards that cookie cutter version of health to be taking care of yourself to be looking after your well being. So I think that there's a few parallels you can draw there and you can think about, you know you compare to say. Success those external measures of success like money, power, influence you know you can compare them again to the diet culture wellness version of what being healthy is which is often, you know, being thin, being able bodied, and being privileged basically so that you can, you know that eating a certain kind of way of food which is, which is generally very privileged and that is a very narrow vision of success but also a narrow vision of health sorry, And so you can kind of see how there's those parallels where I sort of see a lot of parallels and so if you're working with a client with a human, and trying to encourage them to redefine their own version of health what it feels like to them. This is the same process that you can go through the same tools you would use with your client to help them to define their own version of health, you can use those same tools and those same strategies to define and redefine your version of success. What does it look like?

One of the foundations or a couple of foundations that I feel like to start with well firstly values of course because you know I'm going to talk about your values, your values are going to help you know what you want to work towards, your values are aspirational and actionable. And so when you know what your values are when you're clear on your values for this moment because we know our values can change, then you know what you're moving towards, or you know you can use that as a measure to check in with your definition of success does it actually move you towards your values, ie. does it move you where you want to go, or is it moving you towards somebody else's values, and potentially away from your own. So values is always a good starting point. The next level or the next other sort of bit of nuance that I think is often missed from the conversation around like the mainstream conversation around success is defining your enough. And now when I talk about enough. I want to be really clear I'm not talking about a watered down version of success like just go for it just enough you know, I'm more meaning that like Goldilocks kind of sweet spot of not too hot not too cold, not too soft, not too hard, you know that real like that point of discernment that middle middle point of the pendulum if you think about it in that way, like what is your enough. What do you need or where is the enough point for you in the areas of that you would look for for success so maybe it is around money like what's your enough point for money. Perhaps you don't want to be a gazillionaire, you just want enough to be able to leave your full time job, to be able to travel to be able to take certain amount of time off or whatever your goals are, and just a little plug there we'll be covering how to create value based goals in the upcoming workshop, don't forget about checking that out. And what is your version of, like, what is your level of enough of those things. So for instance, for money, so like, what is your enough there. what is your enough for for clients like in your how many clients you want to work with so someone might measure success about having like a quote unquote full book of clients and their number might be way, way, way past your enough, and your enough might be way back before that somebody's version of success might be working in a full time business you know success, success means having a full time full time business and working, you know 40 hours in your business, but your version of success might be working two days a week might be working 10 hours a week, your version of success is based in like that enough, so what's the enough for you, like, what is enough enough, is the point that moves us towards living into our values, but also just living into a point of comfort being comfortable and not comfort as in like resting on your laurels kind of comfort like it, but that's okay too, you know, you're allowed to rest, you don't have to always be hustling and striving and sometimes I think with success, the kind of thinking about success and I like to bring in the enough, because sometimes when we think about success, and particularly because it's often overlaid with our current culture version of success it's this constant striving hustling moving towards something, you know, and never enough never good enough. Whereas, finding that enough, like what does enough look like for you and using that to base your redefinition, and your redefining of successes, can be a really helpful first step. So thinking about your values, what moves you towards your values and defining your enough in the areas of those values of like what does enough feel like in this moment in this season of your life and your enough can change you know, I'm in a season of my life where I have three small children under seven years old, so my enough when it comes to a like a full time client like number of clients I want to work with one on one is 10 clients, that's my enough. That's my version of success in this season that I'm in, when it comes to having like a full quote unquote roster of clients for me of humans to work with. It's 10. You're enough for your season and where you're at might be 20 Maybe it's 30 I don't know, that's really a point for you. but just want to offer that up because everyone's in us different, and it does change in seasons of life and I know that later down the track when my kids are older, they're off at school, I've got two that still aren't at school full time, ones preschool she'll be off to school next year and then I've got my youngest, who's a well way off. So, to be able to move towards that eventually I will but that's a little way off so for this season, it's a different amount my version of success or my marker for success is different than what it will be at other points. And so I offer that kind of, you know, invitation to think about where you're enough is defining your enough, and then using that to define and redefine your version of success.

I really feel that success, or focusing on the current narrow definition of success keeps us stuck, keeps us keeps us, you know, stuck in the, in that in that system keeps us upholding the status quo. And if we want to work towards true liberation for us and for others, I think, redefining success, and actually even considering a whole other way to think about success is really helpful. And so for me, I've personally and this is not a mandate for you and everyone has to find their own kind of, you know way to kind of wrap their thoughts around this but for me I felt that actually even just the term success. Because it has those connotations and in success itself is just a word but sometimes when it's been associated with so certain kind of things for a long time, it's hard to just change the definition of a word. And so what I have actually started thinking about or my word, or my way of viewing my redefining of success is actually use a completely different word. And so I don't really strive for, quote unquote success anymore. My striving, is to flourish and hat tip kelly diels who first introduced this word to me in the context of I mean of course I knew what the word I'd heard of the word flourish before but in the context or in kind of, in conjunction with the idea of success, because it really perfectly sums up my version, like my redefinition of success and my point of enough. So from the dictionary flourishing is growing to flourish is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result. As a result of a particularly congenial environment, and I could break that down for you around why I feel that is my redefinition like this is really my goalpost for success. And I don't even think about as success anymore I really think about it as flourishing. And so to grow and develop. For me, one of my values is around learning and growing and developing and finding new ways of doing things. And so it speaks to that in a healthy and vigorous way, my definition of healthy is possibly different to others. But I think what in vigorous I don't. In my kind of take on vigorous isn't necessarily like like fast or pushing is more just like in a way that is it vigorous is like grounded, it's like very rooted it makes me think of plants and plants they're always like a vigorous and healthy, growing plant is well grounded it's got roots really dug into the soil, and as a little aside because I like to think about words and language is that root. The, the, the actual base of the word radical is to the root of and so I feel like this kind of idea really speaks to that too because I think of roots I think of plants and it makes me think of being a little bit radical about challenging the status quo. And so developing in a healthy and vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly congenial environment, and a congenial environment to me, is one that is a, you know, is, makes me think of culture makes me think of community. And so creating a community and a culture that is supportive of where I want to go supportive of me living into my values and that is this space. This space here, where I'm talking about how to do things differently, how to be our own kind of dietitians, and it's also the work that that I hope this has ripple effects into in the work that I'm hoping that you know that I'm making some sort of slight ripple impact on on changing, changing culture changing conversations changing around, you know, trying to make shifts in making changes in all of the obias and ism that we can move away from that and move towards a fair and just space because another one of my values is, is just creating a space that is fair and just for all bodies. And that is around body liberation stuff, but it's also just around all bodies all humans so that we all have space where we can feel where it's fair where it's where it's just so where people aren't exposed to or subject to fatphobia transphobia, homophobia, people aren't subject to racism people aren't subject to any kind of ism more oppression, any kind of dehumanisation, and that is kind of speaks to that in that particular particularly congenial environment a bit, so when I come to that definition, it really for me is my redefining, so for me, I've kind of thrown out the concept of success I still talk about it because it is. It's the vernacular that we use and so it's easily, It's clearer for people what I mean. But for me, success equals flourishing so when I'm talking about success I'm automatically thinking about my definition of success which is flourishing,or when I'm talking about success I might be using it as an, as a kind of placeholder for you, encouraging you to define your own version of success.

So that is kind of what I wanted to talk about that I don't have answers. It's more just questions and spaces to pick and scratch around to try and I suppose create the opportunity for us to, to think about it differently to think about that there's this narrow definition of success as it is. And, you know, and to really just open that question what if striving for success, as it's currently definition is stopping us from being free, it's keeping us busy is keeping us stuck, and it's actually propping up all of these systems that we're also at the same time actively working against, and it's creating this kind of friction, really. So what if we redefine success. We started off by defining enough, you start off firstly by getting clear on your values, defining your enough and then redefining success breaking down the old definition and creating your own and you can still use it under the term of success or perhaps you find a word that works better for you. Maybe it's thriving, maybe it is liberation. Maybe that's your definition of success. Maybe it's something else, maybe it's freedom, maybe it's flexibility, what are the words or the way that you define success. And when you have your definition of success, then you know where you want to go. And when you know where you want to go, you can start making steps to getting there. And so knowing your values youre finding your enough. You're redefining your success, and you're running the business that you want to run, so that you can live the life that you want to be living. And that's kind of what we're here for yeah?, like, that's why we're running our businesses. That's why you run in your own business, to create, to define to build your own version of your own business to build a version of vision of life that you want to be living.

So I hope that gives you some thoughts and some some sort of jumping off point, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you currently define success and does this get you thinking about other ways to kind of wrap words around success for you. Have you kind of steered away from thinking about success or wanting to even strive for success because of that real narrow definition. does this open up possibilities of how you can create your own values based version of success definition of success and work towards and strive towards that. If this resonates for you. Let me know, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you want more support to work on some goals that move you towards your success values based goals, I'll be covering that in the upcoming workshop and a little plug for that. Check out the link in the show notes, or head to my bio, link in bio @dietitia values over on Instagram or dietitianvalues.com On my website which is where you find the show notes, but you'll also find the link to the upcoming workshop which is on the 18th/19th of July. So, let me know your thoughts and comments pop over to this post for the podcast, and let me know. What's your current version of success. Are you striving for success. Are you stuck because of the narrow definition and does this give you open up some possibilities for you about potentially where success could be different where success could take you. Perhaps you could work towards your definition redefining success, so that you can run the business you want to run, and so you can live the life that you want to be living. Okay, that's all I got for today. I'll talk to you again soon. Bye for now.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai