Ep 23 What is your enough?

Today I want to invite you to consider your enough.

Enough, to me is a space of contentment - and while that's not the usual marker thrown around in traditional business I feel it's a good starting point for a values based definition of success. A point of discernment.

So, what is your enough and how exactly can it be used to build more alignment in your business?

Let's dive in.

Links, resources & mentions

Jess Baker - website & Food Psych interview where she talks about ‘donut land’

Redefining success Ep 11 Dietitian Values Podcast

Whose values Ep 9 Dietitian Values Podcast

Values Based Goals Ep 19 Dietitian Values Podcast

Episode Transcript

Laura Jean 0:07

Hello Hello and welcome to another episode of The dietitian values podcast. Thanks for joining me today, I want to talk to you about enough. More specifically, what is your enough. So let's unpack this word a little bit, and then put it back together. So first up enough. Now, sometimes enough can be interpreted as settling, like you know 'just enough', but in this context what I would like to put forward or invite you to consider around enough is enough being the space of discernment. So if you work in the non diet space, or you're familiar with intuitive eating, often what we talk about with clients when we're working with them you know when we're first starting to change relationships with food clients will experience a situation where they start eating in a way that feels unusual to them maybe they're., Jess Baker calls it donut land, basically when the first concept of freedom around food comes in and all foods fit, and it's that removal of restriction and the body just kind of goes 'Whoo'. And then the other side of course is the restriction, so it's like a pendulum, and in themiddle, is what's sometimes referred to as discernment, it's that space of finding that, you know, balance I suppose for want of a better word, but for me it's the discernment, it's that enough space or space where you feel comfortable in how foods are fitting into your intake where food is nourishing, and when there's there's no restriction happening. And I feel like enough, is the business or life version of that. And I first started digging around in the space of enough about 11 or so years ago about 10 or 11 years ago when I started looking into living a more sustainable, more simple way of life. Basically I had my you know, wake up moment or aha moment around the world, the environment and sustainability and was like 'wow I really need to make changes, I really need to think about my choices', and so what I started digging into is what is enough? like what is enough when it comes to consuming and what is enough, when it comes to those kind of goals I suppose those markers of our culture's markers of success. And then when I started working around business stuff, and started looking at ways of working for me enough, or the concept of finding my enough just really overlaid that quite seamlessly, so it was like well what is my enough what do I need,how often do I need to be working, what kind of income, like what are my numbers, what's my enough for for maintaining the the way of living that I want to have like what does enough look like for me. And it's really a space where we find that discernment so it's not about settling. Sometimes enough might be positioned in that way but it's really about finding a space of discernment around what do you require to meet your needs and to meet some of your wants, of course as well because this isn't about austerity, necessarily, unless that is your values based definition of success, and enough. It doesn't have to be about that, we can still flourish, and in fact I think flourishing is one of the ways we can challenge the status quo. For anyone who holds, you know, an identity that is not meant to flourish in our current culture that to do so is, is, you know it's a rebellion, it's a way to actually challenge, what is and what is the status quo. So I think enough doesn't have to be just enough to get by, to just survive, enough can also include flourishing, and it can include thriving, or whatever term you use to mean living your best life your meaningful life. What is enough for you?

Another point about enough. Is that enough can change so enough in one moment of your life or in one season of your life might be different. for me right now in a season of life with three kids and you know that kind of small young kids, Enough is very different than I think what enough definitely very different than what enough was before I had kids, and definitely different than what I imagine enough will be further on in my journey. So, wherever you might be in your season of life and similarly, I'm in. You know I'm building my business around supporting dietitians, it's still, it's still in early days, you know, I've done this work and I've mentored and provided both informal and formal support to dietitians for many many years. However, doing it in a more structured way, as the focus of my work is new. I've usually done it on the side of doing other more non dietitian facing so like you know working with women around their relationship with food doing other things like that and so it's always just been like a little very small part it's been, you know, rebellious conversations here, or mentoring there or supervision over here. Now, actually having it as the focus of my work is, is a new phase for me so my enough in this startup sort of space is different than what it will probably be. so your enough will change similarly to how your values change, how humans change because change is the only constant right?! So, enough isn't settling your enough will change, and enough is that space of discernment or contentment or comfort and enough includes flourishing enough isn't just about just making ends meet, like 'just enough' it's, it's a space of, kind of like an exhale to me like enough, you know enough to take care of the needs and wants that you have for your life and for your business.

Enough can work in a couple of ways with success. so we've talked on the podcast before and I'll link to the episode about redefining your version of success which I think is super important when you are working towards your values based business. If you are using an external measure of success or our current cultures version, which is steeped in supremacy culture steeped in power over, using that version of success is probably not going to fit with most values based business, unless your values are around, you know, supremacy based culture or norms, and which they can be if we haven't taken their time to question and looked at - well whose values are really coming into play? and I'll link to the episode I talked about that about whose values so where you can really get clear on whose values are directing it. Now that isn't to say that current markers of success aren't things that you can strive for. Absolutely, I think it's just important to really get clear on what are the markers of success for you and what are you working towards in your business. So first redefining success. And I think that enough can be playing in a couple of ways with success. I think one it can be an alternative. If the idea of success or the way that success is defined, like sometimes I think it's helpful to redefine terms and redefine words, And then sometimes I think no matter how much we rework a word, no matter how much we come up with our own definition, the original word the meaning and the associations can be so strong in a values misalignment for an individual that they become no longer helpful. So, as far as success goes. If you think of success and you're looking at ways to redefine it but the, the associations you have with the current definition of success have tarnished it so much that it's not a useful term for you, or in fact just thinking about success actually pushes you towards thoughts or ways of being that isn't in line with your values isn't in alignment with your values, then you might find having a whole new word, such as enough, or another way of defining what you're working towards is is really helpful, and I would offer enough up so finding that point of Enough, flourishing enough or thriving enough or providing for your needs and wants, could be a useful term so it can be a replacement.

It can also be a starting point so sometimes when we're redefining or attempting to redefine success it's hard to think of markers outside the current cultural norms and so enough can be a way just to kind of wind it back or to not wind it back as in that settling mode but just to kind of wander back to an internal marker of success. A lot of the time, the ways we think of success are those external, visual pieces of success. Whereas I find and I'm not sure if you've ever used the term enough or played around with it but I find enough tends to naturally be more internal be more introspective, because enough, is very much around being in connection with yourself. So, again if we use like a food, a non diet, relationship with food kind of term then enough when we work with clients around trying to help them to discern what enough feels like in their body. It's a very individual and internal thing you know we don't say well this is enough for you this is enough for everybody. We work with clients, we support them to connect to themselves connect with their bodies connect with the moment because of course enough when it comes to food will change based on the meal, the time of day What else has happened in that day energy levels, all those kind of things, their activity level, somebody might have done the amount of sleep, they've done, maybe where they are in their hormonal cycle, so many things can impact on that. And so, similarly, when we think about enough as a marker for, you know what's enough to meet our needs and wants, is around, it really, it naturally brings us more into you know more introspective more internal, it's looking at what is enough because it's so subjective versus success which is often currently - now I'm not saying you can't redefine it to be more subjective, and I definitely would invite you to do so but often it comes with very objective markers in our current culture the current definition of success. and so enough can be another way to get at it or to start moving or start exploring or scratching away around what your version of enough, is what your version of success is because it's a way to look within yourself. It's really hard to find that enough outside of yourself using external cues so enough can be a starting point into a redefinition of success or it can be a replacement. And it's really about what works best for you.

I think the other thing that I find that I've really enjoy or really resonate for me is sometimes when I think of success or the markers of success within our current culture a lot of those are, like I said very external, but they're also based on extractive kind of measures and sometimes it's extracting from other people, and sometimes it's extracting from ourselves extracting time extracting energy, and enough, is kind of already hinting within just the word itself, at, at a space of kind of equilibrium, you know, at a space of, it kind of feels like it moves against that idea of extraction and the endless growth that success pushes too because success is almost like that kind of constant striving space, where as enough. I don't know, maybe it's just the way I've used enough or the way of the term enough, or the way I've defined it for myself. A just feels more expansive versus, like, growing like it feels like an opportunity to find actually like to, to open up into what could be like what what is enough or what what could meet my needs and wants versus success which is like this like endpoint or goalposts or that kind of thing like that really far off in the distance markers. And maybe it's just as I said maybe it's just how I've used the term. so I'd be interested in your thoughts on on the word enough.

So a few things just to recap so enough, It's not about settling. It's not about not having goals, it's not about just, you know just eking through, it's not about like scraping by, or just enough. Enough, is an internal place that you get to by yourself, not necessarily by yourself but where it's, it's really subjective, it's a space where you can meet your wants and can meet your needs, where you can flourish, and where you can start defining what it feels like to be at that discernment point. So, what is your enough? What is enough in this moment, if we're remembering that nenough can change. And so some examples. So what could be enough? so some of the humans that I've supported around this, or even for myself sometimes different spaces so maybe enough is just having enough to leave this shitty clinic that sucks your soul that you have to go to. maybe enough, is working in a way that you have enough or that you can meet your enough by working three days a week, Maybe it's having school holidays off. maybe enough is just having a flexible schedule and a little flexible schedule, maybe it's nothing to do with other things, maybe it's just being able to build your schedule the way you want to, to work the hours you want to. maybe enough, is just being able to work with clients that are aligned with your values, work with other humans in a way that works for you. maybe enough is having more time to spend on the things you really love and on the people you really love. maybe enough is having time with your family, versus time at work, you're enough is different, maybe enough is a monetary thing, and that's okay too. This isn't to say that having goals around money having goals around revenue, and those sorts of things that there's anything wrong with that, that that's not values based because it's absolutely not the idea that I want to give to you. What I suppose I'm inviting when we think about things like enough or those more subjective values is for you really to connect with yourself and connect with your values and get clear on where you want to go. And I've talked about setting values based goals before and I'll link that in the show notes as well so you can check that out. But it's really about getting clear and comfortable on the point where you know you're reaching these spaces these goals and it's actually bringing you a sense of contentment, a sense of achievement, a sense of kind of peace and I think that's how I liken enough, or how I differentiate it between maybe traditional goals or traditional versions of success because I think when we hit traditional versions of success or traditional goals because they're not set from a place inside ourselves sometimes it can just be. I got it, you know, and there's not that real feeling of alignment or feeling of contentment, and for me, that is what I noticed when I hit those enough points when I defined my enough, and when I worked towards it, and reach it. It's a true feeling of contentment. And that is how I differentiate it from potentially some of those external markers of success which potentially can be like a bit of a dopamine hit, but then it goes away. Enough is that contentment that sticks around.

It's really interesting, actually today because my middle child was doing a reenactment of the Goldilocks play and Goldilocks of course finds her enough very much in that in that space, you know, she really goes through all those experiences to find what feels comfortable and what is her enough, you know maybe success would say the bigger, bowl of porride is the one to go for but Goldilocks finds her enough in the bowl of porridge that works for her, the you know the the bigger bed that comfier bed might be the one to go for but Goldilocks find her enough on the bed that works for her body. If we want to use a bit of a Goldilocks fable, I was just thinking about that just came to me so, anyway, tangent. You came for business advice and support and you left with a Goldilocks analogy.

So there you go. So I just encourage you to think about or invite you to think about enough. How does that feel for you, how does that land does that feel like a term or a word that there's more scope to align with your values. Absolutely, it doesn't mean that we have to throw out success. I think having spaces and goals and things to work towards your values based goals your values based definition of success is so helpful. I just would offer enough up here for anyone who's looking for a kind of anchor I suppose to, to ground your definition of success, or for people who just really can't find a way to work with success in a values aligned way for them. That enough could be an alternative that I'd like to offer up. So give that a burl, let me know, what is your enough? What is your enough in this moment, I'd love it if you would let me know, either in the post over on @dietitianvalues at Instagram, or send me a DM. Or, of course, if you head over to dietitianvalues.com, which is my website and you can find information on how to contact me if you prefer to go via email as well. So, let me know. How does that land for you. Does the idea of defining enough feel more values aligned for you, or does it help you kind of almost like get a toehold in a different way of thinking about success. See how you go. And we will chat again soon. Until then, bye for now.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai